LEADERSHIP COACHING: LIFE-FIT

I worry that our teachers are exhausted. Many are tired and others are fried. Most educators I know have been burning the candles at both ends, working harder over the last five months than they have ever worked.  Every day they feel like a first year teacher or administrator, re-learning and doing their darn best to figure how they are going to approach this new normal. 

As educators across the country return back to school I’m reminded of the importance of  how educators manage their time between their professional responsibilities at work and their personal life obligations. In Culturize, I discuss a term that was shared with me in a conversation by a colleague a few years back called Life-Fit. Life-Fit looks at how we as educators reduce stress by creating an ebb and flow that works for us. Oftentimes the word “balance” carries a negative connotation in that it suggests that the goal is to find a 50-50 split between work and life and if we are not meeting that goal then we must be doing something wrong.” (Yost 2004).

Balance:

1.       It is most frequently discussed in the negative.

2.       Keeps us focused on the problem rather than the solution.

3.       Assumes we are all the same.

4.       Infers there is a “right” answer.

5.       Leads us to judge.

6.       Results in unproductive guilt.

7.       Leaves no room for periods where there is more work and less life and vice versa.

8.       Ignores the constantly changing reality of work and life.

Life-Fit:

1.       Honors our unique situations throughout various points in our lives.

2.       Leads us to inspire.

3.       Recognizes multiple options based upon each person’s current circumstance.

4.       Acknowledges the ebb and flow of life’s events.

5.       Values flexibility.

Today, in my work as a Leadership Coach, I am blessed  to work with educators all over the country. However, it pains me to watch how they struggle to “balance” their passion for their work with their commitment to family and personal well-being.  I know that feeling all too well, having sacrificed many family commitments during my twenty-two years as a school leader due to my work responsibilities. More often than not, I see caring and effective teachers and administrators be consumed by guilt because they are not able to meet a deadline, attend a school activity, give more personal attention to a struggling student, help a colleague, or supervise a school event.  We feel guilty when we are not able to meet the needs of our school community regardless of the number of hours we put in and for some reason still believe “we should have done something more or we should have been there.”  We must recognize and accept that there will always be more work to do, more deadlines to meet, another situation to resolve, more meetings to attend, and more emails to answer. Yet, we still feel a great need to produce an even greater burden of frustration and guilt when we fall short.  Maybe it is not about what we should do, but what we can do?

Each week I share 1 Reflection, 2 Ideas, and 1 Resource for you to consider that I hope will encourage you to explore new and better practices in your daily work. My aspirations are to support you and others in developing your skills and shifting your thinking so you will invest in your own development and maybe, just maybe I can inspire you to want to live your excellence so you can bring your best self to school every day!

Live your excellence…

Jimmy

LIFE-FIT: 121
 

1 REFLECTION

"Self-care is not selfish, and at times it can be life-saving." - Jessica Cabeen, Principal, Author.

2 IDEAS

Finding a life-fit gives us permission to do what works for us; without judgment or guilt.  Life-fit looks different for everyone depending where you are in life. Life-fit looks different for a first year teacher who is single than it does for a teacher who is married and has three small children.  Life-fit looks different for an administrator whose children are grown and now has more time to devote to other peoples’ children.  Life-fit looks different for an athletic coach, music director or club sponsor whose spouse also works full time and whose work requires a lot of travel as opposed to someone whose spouse is a stay at home dad or mom.  Life-fit honors our unique situations throughout various points in our lives.  Finding a life–fit allows us to be forgiving of ourselves for ourselves and recognizes there are ebbs and flows to life’s events. 

So what are some things we can do starting today to help us support our life-fit so we can be at our best to serve others?

1.     Be purposeful in scheduling down time.

2.     Drop activities that zap your time and energy.

3.     Set aside time weekly to do something you truly enjoy doing (date night, family games) and honor it.

4.     What can you delegate to someone else to do?

5.     Trust that others will follow through on your expectations.

6.     Send a kind note to a colleague.

7.     Phone a childhood friend or relative and talk about fun times. 

8.     Exercise and eat healthy.

9.     Remove email from your phone.  Choose one weekend day as no email day.

10.   Set boundaries for yourself.  Leave guilt behind and say "No" more often to outside requests that sacrifice family or alone time. 

________________________________________________________________________________

I love this Gratitude Checklist by Jessica Cabeen. Jessica currently serves as a Middle School principal in Austin, MN and has published several books and is one of my go to leaders on all things life-fit. You can access her resources HERE.  

Jessica reminds us with this adaptable checklist of the importance of showing gratitude to others. I am firm believer in writing down whatever things in life I want to accomplish. I check my lists, whether they be gratitude, relationships, tasks, goals, financial portfolios, etc., once a month to hold myself accountable and to monitor my progress because I have learned over the last twenty years that what gets written down, gets accomplished. In order to give our very best to others we have to invest in ourselves first; our personal faith and wellness, family, friends and finances. 

Our work is never finished, but it is how we manage our work that determines our effectiveness as educators. Our challenge begins when the work day starts to blend with our personal day and the lines become blurred on how to manage our needs with the needs of our students, family and school community. We must understand and value that life fits differently for each member of our school community and our health, well-being and success will be depend on the grace, kindness, genuine support and flexibility we are able to provide for one another to manage our responsibilities both at school and at home. 

1 RESOURCE 

Video: FINDING HAPPINESS

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